Bob Hope

photo credit: n0nick     Bob Hope, who's jokes fill 85,000 pages in the Library of Congress Archives, was an American icon.   Here are a few:   <”On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard that he's now my golf bag.”   <”I've played all over the world, which means there isn't a country with a course where I haven't three putted.”   <”Golf's a hard game to figure.   One day you slice it, shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.   And then the next day, you go out and for no reason at all you stink.”   <”When I play golf I look like a polo player without a horse, or Grandma Moses trying to keep warm.”   <”I played golf with President Eisenhower yesterday.   You can't beat a guy who rattles his medals while you putt.   Ike uses a short democrat for a tee!”